My ‘astute lawyer’ friend recommends that perhaps I should list what I don’t want, since the converse seems a lot harder to do.
Well, based on my experiences thus far, here’s what I know. And I’ve tried to then deduce what it is I want, based on what it is I don’t. So brilliant right?
– Won’t bolt at the first sign of trouble > someone who’s willing to work things out
– Isn’t fickle > someone who knows what she wants and doesn’t keep changing her mind
– Doesn’t have 101 male friends who seem to get as much attention as i do (i exaggerate, but you get the idea) > someone who gives me a sense of security & being wanted
– Immature in thoughts and actions > someone who’s mature
– Doesn’t speak well > somone who’s articulate (in engrish at least)
At this point, things somehow got a little easier, and I could go straight to the ‘what I want‘ traits
– a sense of humour
– willing to foot the bill sometimes
– gentle (no need to be kuniang, but definitely shouldn’t be some chao ah lian either)
– kind to animals (if she likes cats, bonus!)
And even easier, the superficial bits
– Attractive (to me la, at least. ‘one man’s meat … )
– Nice-smelling hair 😉
I won’t attempt to justify what I’ve put down here. Some of you who
know me, know why certain things are the way they are. But if you
really want to ask me why I put down this or that, I’ll tell you lor.
This is by no means complete of course, but there comes the scary bit. If you put down a million and one items, won’t that just make it impossible to find anyone who fits? So that’s where I think some compromise comes in. Only some. Compromise all the time, and once again, you’re in trouble.
Someone who works at a dating agency once asked me whether I was looking for a ‘trophy girlfriend’ straight in my face. (Ask me about the dating agency another day, I wasn’t there to sign up hor, but then again maybe I should ah?)
The question took me slightly by surprise, but then on hindsight, it does make sense no?
Shouldn’t your partner be someone you’re proud of? Someone you’re happy to introduce to your friends as your squeeze? You shouldn’t be shy about who you’re with, right?
So yea, in that sense, you can give me a trophy anytime.